The Whump Before Christmas
by obsessed1
Summary: A very bad no good day for Sheppard.


Title: The Night Before Christmas

Author: Obsessed1  
Character(s): John Sheppard and team.  
Genre(s): Stargate Atlantis: H/C -Angst  
Rating: T  
Words: Various and many.  
Warnings: Nothing too explicit.  
Secret Santa Challenge: For Kodiak Bear who wanted Sheppard drugged! You told me to take it where I want and well…..this is a strange little tale.

Summary: A little story about a day going from bad to worse.

_A/N: Wowsers! I went way over the word limit with this and struggled a bit but I hope you like what I've come up with. Oh and Merry Christmas!!!_

Teaser

Distant broken voices brought McKay back to life. He stretched, barely able to feel his fingers and toes by now, his thin sweater doing nothing to keep out the cold and he realised with disdain that he had fallen asleep.

The crackling continued and he forced himself to move even though his thoughts were sluggish and he was incredibly tired.

"Sheppard!"

His voice was barely audible over the wind and snow.

Sheppard, the lump currently lying beside him with his elbows digging into his side, wasn't moving; his lips were slightly blue and his eyelashes were tipped with frozen ice. He was quiet…….way too quiet.

"Sheppard….wake up……"

McKay gave him a prod and sighed.

"Come on……..wake up."

He found the source of the voices and pulled Sheppard's radio out of his tactical vest. With frozen fingers he depressed the talk button. The voice on the other end sounded familiarly comforting.

"Major Lorne, is that you?"

"_That it is__ Doctor McKay…"_

"Oh thank god! Where are you? It's freezing! Have you found Teyla? She was alone and-"

Major Lorne's calm voice stalled him, _"We picked her up on the life signs detector……she's a little cold but she's fine."_

"I thought……."

Now he was awake, everything was beginning to hurt. He just wanted to sleep.

"_McKay?"_

Lorne had been speaking and he hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"Sorry Major…I drifted off for a second…"

It was hard to stay awake when sleeping seemed to steal away the pain.

"_I said __we've got you on the life signs detector as well."_

"It's about time……did I mention I'm freezing and-"

"_Yeah I got that. I think the snow was a clue."_

"Funny."

"_Now we just need to find the Colonel."_

McKay wasn't sure if he had heard right, "Well……he's here with me."

"_He is?"_

And Lorne sounded surprised, disbelieving even.

"Yeah he's right……"

McKay gave Sheppard a gentle shake but there was no movement from him. Not even a hand batting him away and telling him to leave him alone just like a few hours ago. At least, Mckay thought it had been a few hours ago. He had no idea how long he had been asleep.

"I was tired……I think I fell asleep."

"_McKay, uh…we're…….we're not picking him up on the life signs detector right now."_

"Well then, it must be broken…….because he's right here. He's just sleeping…Sheppard! The cavalries here wake up!"

It was disturbing how quiet Sheppard was. He'd been ranting and raving before; restless.

"Sheppard?"

"_McKay….we have you're position. We're on our way."_

McKay managed to get up onto his knees for the first time in hours, all the stiffness and coldness forgotten, "I think you need to hurry!"

Winter Wonderland

"Sheppard!"

Sheppard dug his hands into the pockets of his thick jacket and cursed the cumbersome clothing. His tac vest was under there somewhere, along with his P90. His hands were covered by thick gloves and thank god he had requisitioned a scarf from one of his men before heading to the icy planet. The wind was buffeting through him as if he wasn't even there. It was freezing.

"Sheppard!"

He turned to the voice; realising Ronon had been stood beside him for quite some time trying to get his attention. He'd admit to having been distracted by the cold, his thoughts, the stillness and the all too familiar surroundings that reminded him of Antarctica and isolation.

"Are you okay?"

"This storms really coming in," and he noted the edge of irritation in his voice.

He'd had a bad feeling about this mission right from the start and yet here he was, freezing his ass off in the middle of nowhere. McKay had convinced him to launch a mission and had promised there would be something worthwhile to bring home. A Christmas present for all of Atlantis to enjoy. _A ZPM_. Only, there was no sign of anything remotely resembling a ZPM.

This Christmas was going to suck. He could feel it.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love Christmas?"

Ronon, who was wrapped up in his own coat, arms across his chest, dreadlocks already covered in a veil of snow, just raised his eyebrows.

Sheppard sighed, "How's Rodney doing?"

"I left him to it," Ronon answered, voice distorted by the wind.

"He found anything yet?"

Another hour or so and they'd be stranded there. He'd already decided that he wasn't going to give McKay any more time even if he had found something of interest.

"He mentioned something about boobies?"

Sheppard arched an eyebrow and looked up at Ronon, expecting some kind of follow up explanation but there was none.

"Did you just say-"

Ronon was staring out at the bleak landscape, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Or maybe he hadn't heard him through the weather.

Sheppard shivered. The snow was falling heavier than before and the wind seemed to have changed. It was definitely a sign that they should leave.

"What's wrong with your hand?"

Sheppard realised that he had been massaging his wrist and dug his hands back into his pocket.

"It's just bruised after our last sparring session."

Ronon shrugged and spoke without a hint of remorse, "You should learn to block."

Maybe he should. It was the third injury of the sort in as many months.

"That's it," Sheppard said pushing a hand through his soaked hair, "Time to call it."

He trudged passed Ronon and back into the relative shelter of the outpost, stomping his boots on the floor to remove any clinging snow.

He was just at the threshold to the main room where McKay was elbow deep in exposed wires when Ronon grabbed him by his arm.

Sheppard gave him an irritated look.

"I told you. _Boobies_."

Sheppard looked across the room to where McKay was now standing, collecting together his belongings, "Rodney!"

"This _isn't_ an ancient outpost," he said hefting his rucksack over his shoulder, "The whole place is rigged with traps."

Sheppard smiled with relief. _Booby traps_. That made more sense compared to what his mind had been conjuring up. He took a step forward when Teyla, who he now realised, was pressed against the far wall shouted for him to stop.

"Colonel, don't move!"

Closer inspection revealed that there were about a dozen knives in the wall next to her shoulder.

"_Rodney?_"

"Hey, it's not _m_y fault! I pressed something and they shot out across the room."

"Teyla, you okay?"

"I am fine. I just think it is wise that we leave this room….._carefully_."

Sheppard tensed. He didn't like feeling useless.

They'd arrived an hour ago and everything had checked out fine. After all, he had entered first, scanned the room over and then had called McKay in to do his thing. His thing was apparently activating traps.

"Right, let's get out of here. I guess it was too good to be true that it might actually be an ancient outpost."

Sheppard licked his lips, worry warring with frustration as he waited on the threshold.

"Next time you start pulling out wires maybe you should be a little more careful," Teyla admonished McKay from her corner of the room.

She was obviously shaken, hands pressed against the wall, her whole body rigid with anxiety.

"Hey, for all I know Colonel Catastrophe _here_ activated all of these traps!"

"Now come on McKay, let's not play the blame game. All I did was turn on a few consoles and…" he paused, realising what he had just said.

"_Turned_ on a few consoles?" McKay slowly started to walk across the room, eyes shifting nervously as he went, "What have I told you about touching things?"

Sheppard looked to both Ronon and Teyla for support but they were giving him the same look as McKay. "You told me not too."

"Exactly!"

"McKay, we needed some light in here. I just…"

"You _just_ used your gene and activated some kind of ancient's trap."

"I just turned on the damn lights!"

"Oh god! The wraith are probably behind it and now they're on their way and they're going to-"

"McKay duck!"

McKay gave Ronon a shocked look and then dived down to the ground, "What is it?"

Ronon was pulling Sheppard back before he had a chance to dash forwards to McKay and Teyla was crouching as more knives shot across the room and became imbedded in the wall.

"Thanks buddy."

Ronon's expression was neutral, "Don't mention it."

McKay was cowering on the floor with his hands protectively shielding his head.

"Just….crawl over to us," Sheppard stated feeling more and more tense as the seconds went by.

"This is just perfect!" McKay moaned as he started to crawl across towards them, "I'm freezing, I'm hungry, we haven't found anything of use and there are knives flying over my head!"

"Just be thankful one didn't hit you in the ass….." and Sheppard's mouth curved into a smile, "…._again_."

"Oh hardy ha ha Colonel. Very funny. Might I add that I still have an arrow shaped hole in my a-"

"Just move slowly. You don't know what else-"

Sheppard was cut off by a clicking noise and he and McKay shared a panicked look.

"Rodney? Was that the-"

McKay nodded and looked to where his hand had just depressed one of the floor tiles.

"Don't lift your hand."

Teyla had managed to move across to them now and was tucking herself in beside Sheppard and Ronon.

"Why not?"

"It's a pressure plate."

"A what?"

"Just do as I say."

"Sheppard…." McKay ground out making sure to remain perfectly still.

"Just…_wait_," Sheppard turned to Ronon, "We need something heavy."

Ronon nodded and tore out of the door.

"I'm going to die," McKay mumbled.

"You're not going to die, just stay where you are and we'll get you out of this."

"Will you?"

"Yes Rodney. Just don't move."

"That's easy for you to say!"

"If I could take your place I would."

"No you wouldn't!"

"Probably not," Sheppard conceded with a grimace.

Ronon returned a few minutes later with a large rock and handed it to Sheppard.

"Okay," Sheppard started to edge forwards, "We need to replace your weight with this rock."

McKay eyed the rock suspiciously, "That rock is huge! I'm heavy but I'm not that-"

"_Rodney_," and Sheppard smiled reassuringly, "As I was saying, I'm going to put this rock on the tile to replace your weight. As soon as it's down, get out of here."

"Colonel, are you sure that is wise?"

"Teyla, I can't see any other alternative. Can you?"

"Just…" McKay licked his lips, "Just be careful. There might be more tiles like this."

"I'll take my chances."

"Your chances are my chances Colonel….so just watch where you step."

Sheppard couldn't help but muse that their missions almost always ended up like this. Thankfully, he was used to adrenaline pushing him through fear and doubt.

"Ronon, Teyla you need to get out of here. We're only going to have a few seconds and I have no idea what's going to happen when I do this."

Sheppard knew that neither of them had moved and he honestly never expected them too. If he and McKay were going to go down, so were they.

"Okay," and Sheppard started to lower the rock, "Three, two –"

---------------------

The weather had taken a turn for the worst and as they trudged through the snow back towards the Jumper Teyla was feeling disquietly nervous. Visibility was low and snow was clinging to her hair, her thick coat, her face as she forced herself on through the wind. McKay was walking ahead of her with Ronon, and through the blustery weather she could catch snippets of his moaning. Apparently he wasn't enjoying the weather conditions, or the effect it might be having on his laptop, which was securely covered within his rucksack. She smiled briefly, knowing that Ronon would be doing his best to ignore him.

Sheppard was behind her, watching their six and although conversation was difficult under the conditions she couldn't help but sense that his quietness was down to something else.

Sheppard had three kinds of quiet. There was the quiet determination when he was concentrating on staying aware and doing his job, there was the silence when he was trying to tolerate McKay during one of his rants and there was the eerie quiet of when he wasn't telling them something. It was the latter that they always feared.

She looked over her shoulder and Sheppard was pushing through the snow with grimace on his face. They'd escaped the outpost in one piece; narrowly avoiding more flying knives, a falling axe and an explosion that decimated half of the building. Sheppard had been the last one out as usual, but the grimace didn't appear to be out of injury. It seemed more out of frustration with the weather. But there was definitely something up.

He caught her watching him.

"What's up?"

"Nothing John. I was merely checking you were still there."

He smiled and took a few long strides to catch up to her. His coat was open and his fingers were tensed over his weapons trigger. She doubted he would need his weapon out here in the bleakness but she realised it made him feel safer. Made him feel like he was doing his job.

"Remind me to check the weather report next time we head out," he said glancing around at their surroundings.

They were encircled by trees (they looked a little like the Christmas tree in the gateroom), that provided little cover and treacherous drops into icy canyons. Teyla was a little confused at Sheppard's remark though; they had known they were coming to an ice planet.

"Are you okay John?"

He gave her a confused look, "Yeah……..just eager to get back."

He continued to move in silence.

Teyla knew better than to push him for an explanation. He was trying to hide whatever was wrong with smiles and reassurance but she knew that there was something wrong. She couldn't tell if it was this mission or something else, but she was always attuned to his body language. She had to be. Sheppard was completely selfless to his own detriment.

Before she had a chance to wonder any more, Sheppard pitched forward and landed heavily in the snow.

"Dammit!"

Teyla instantly crouched and grabbed his elbow to help him up, but Sheppard retracted it and angrily slapped his gloved hand down onto the snow.

Ronon and McKay had stopped up ahead.

"Are you okay?"

Sheppard moved onto his knees and brushed off the snow that caked the front of his jacket.

"Damn near broke my wrist," he cursed rubbing at the aching area.

He looked up, and on realising that everyone was watching him forced a smile, "Funny huh? Come on, one of us was going to take a nose dive into the snow today."

"We don't have time for snow angels Colonel," Mckay mocked.

"Snow angels?"

Sheppard ignored Ronon, "You're off the Christmas card list Rodney."

"You were never on mine!" McKay shot back with a smug grin.

Teyla looked to Ronon. Were they supposed to send these Christmas cards too?

Sheppard took the hand proffered by Teyla to get to his feet.

He checked his P90 and Teyla continued to watch him. Sheppard never _just_ fell. Something was wrong.

"Okay kids, let's keep moving. I'm freezing."

The pallor of his face seemed contradictory. If anything, Teyla noted that his face was flushed and red and that even as he walked on, Sheppard was loosening the scarf around his neck.

"Next time I say an ancient outpost is worth this hassle, just shoot me," he grumbled.

Teyla continued to watch him, worried, unused to his irritable temperament.

"Don't worry Teyla, you're still on my list," Sheppard reassured her.

"I do not believe I have these Christmas cards to give……"

Sheppard's lips quirked into a wry smile, "Neither do I……it's just an expression."

"Oh."

"How much further?" McKay shouted.

"Another half hour at least!" Sheppard shouted back, a flicker of something dark in his eyes.

"Half an hour? We've been walking for hours!"

"It's not much further," Sheppard remarked, wiping a hand across his forehead.

"I can't feel my feet!" McKay threw back.

"I can't feel my face but I'm pretty sure it's still there Rodney…just keep walking. We'll be back at the Jumper soon!"

"You'll have to carve me out of my ice block by then!"

Teyla wanted to intervene; take McKay aside and urge him to keep his thoughts to himself, but he tossed back another remark before she could do anything. Teyla knew what was coming.

"Stop whining!" Sheppard snapped.

The outburst took them all by surprise and McKay promptly clamped his mouth shut.

Teyla gave Sheppard a chiding look.

"What?"

"Was that necessary?"

"Oh come on. He's been moaning all day and _he_ was the one that convinced me we just _had _to come here in the first place. I'm tired of it. If it's not about the length of the walk, it's about how he's going to get hypothermia. We're all cold and tired. What?"

Teyla shook her head and continued on. McKay was known to vocalise his misgivings, it was almost expected, but for Sheppard to do the same. It just never happened.

He was pulling at his scarf again, loosening it further until his neck was exposed to the elements.

"Are _you_ trying to get hypothermia?"

Sheppard shot her a look.

"I'm just loosening it. It's a little tight."

He readjusted his grip on his P90 and promptly took another nose dive into the snow. This time when he landed he made no move to get up.

"John?"

"I'm fine," he said and it was almost whispered as if he were a little shocked himself.

Mckay and Ronon were already by her side, crouching beside her and Sheppard was still just sitting there.

"What's going on?" McKay asked.

"John?"

"I just slipped…."

"Again?" Ronon gave Teyla a look she recognised and nodded.

He guided McKay away and Sheppard just sighed, his cold breath misting outwards.

"John?"

"I'm….." and at Teyla's look he seemed to dissolve, "- just a little dizzy."

Teyla pulled her hand out of her gloves, sucked in a hiss when they met with the cold air, and pressed them against Sheppard's forehead. He tried to move away but not before she felt the heat coming off his skin.

"When were you going to tell us?"

"I only just started feeling off okay?" and this time she believed him, "I'm just a bit dizzy that's all."

Teyla studied his face, snow falling in sheets between them and decided that he looked otherwise okay. He was warmer than he should have been but his eyes looked clear. She'd seen them filled with fever enough times to recognise the warning signs.

"Are you able to walk?" she asked placing her glove back on.

"Yeah."

Ronon was back with her, helping her haul Sheppard out of the snow and back to an upright position. He swayed temporarily when they let him go, but seemed to regain his balance quickly.

"See?" he said blinking snow off his eyelashes, "It's probably nothing. We'll be back to the Jumper in no time and then I can get checked over back at Atlantis."

And that tipped the balance. Sheppard never volunteered to go to the infirmary which meant he _was _covering for feeling so lousy.

"Very well John, but please tell us if you feel you can't go on."

Sheppard deliberately knotted his scarf again, zipped up his jacket and started forwards, "I will."

"Are you telling us everything?"

"Yes Teyla."

And it was later on that they realised he wasn't.

Blue Christmas

The Jumper was covered with snow so much it would have been easy to miss. As soon as they were inside, Sheppard was making flight checks and heating the forward portal to remove any excess snow.

Teyla joined Ronon who was stowing gear in the back.

"Something is wrong."

"I know."

"The weather is getting worse."

Ronon stilled. He knew what that meant. They had one experienced pilot on this ship and Teyla doubted his ability to fly them out of there.

"What's going on?"

Both turned to McKay who was still kitted out in his bright blue parka, hat, scarf, gloves and snow glasses.

"Colonel Sheppard is unwell," Teyla provided with a grim look.

Ronon followed McKay's gaze to the front of the Jumper. Sheppard was making his flight checks and readjusting the inertial dampeners, but he was obviously struggling. He was leaning forwards, elbow resting on the front console, slouched in his seat. It wasn't the posture of a well man.

"What?" McKay groaned, "Since when?"

Ronon ignored him. It didn't matter how long. All that mattered now was getting back to Atlantis before the storm closed in around them.

"How far to the gate on foot?"

"Five hours, maybe more," Teyla whispered, "The route is treacherous."

"The flying's going to be the same," Ronon noted grimly.

McKay was beginning to pace, "Do we have enough supplies?"

Teyla shook her head.

"I knew Sheppard would be the death of me!"

"He hasn't killed us yet McKay," Ronon ground out through his teeth.

"Look, maybe we're…….over-reacting…yes, over-reacting. Sheppard wouldn't fly if he couldn't and the puddle Jumper is designed to be intuitive so-"

"What if you're wrong?"

"Well-"

Someone cleared their throat and all three turned in unison to find Sheppard standing there, arms wrapped around himself, a bead of sweat noticeably prickling his hairline.

"I can fly us out of here," he stated with an edge to his voice.

"I am sure you can Colonel but……at least let us check you over before-"

Teyla was cut off by Sheppard's short sharp laugh.

"Teyla, I could fly this thing in my sleep. The storm's closing in; we have a small window of opportunity before we're stranded here. I'm flying."

"You _are _looking a little-"

"A little _what_ Rodney?"

"Pale and……sweaty."

"I've turned the heaters up to full McKay. Soon enough you'll all be sweating in here."

"But we're not," Teyla revealed, "I believe you are burning up with fever."

"I'm _fine_," Sheppard stalked back over to pilot seat and sat down, "We'll be home in no time."

Sheppard placed his hands on the console, ready to fire up, when there was a loud bleeping sound. He sighed and then tried again, but the intermittent beeping was getting louder.

"What is going on?" Teyla was the next to leave their little pact.

Mckay followed shortly after, bringing up a display on the forward portal, "I don't believe it!"

Sheppard slumped back into his seat and started to massage the bridge of his nose.

"It's never done that before."

"What?" Ronon asked, patience beginning to wear thin.

"Touch the console again, I want another reading."

"No Rodney," Sheppard mumbled irritably.

"Doctor McKay?"

"The Jumper, it's not letting Sheppard fly," and McKay was beaming.

It wasn't the response Ronon was expecting and Sheppard looked about ready to hit him.

"Why not?" Teyla glanced at Sheppard.

"It has detected that the pilot is compromised," McKay smiled smugly, "Well Sheppard. Try and deny it now. Even your Jumper knows your sick!"

"It must be a glitch," Sheppard said placing his hands on the console again, "I've flown this thing in worse condition."

"Well, maybe it is a glitch but still……"

"You're enjoying this!"

Sheppard pushed himself out of his seat.

"Hey…I don't want to be stuck here either!"

"Rodney, see if you can find a way around that fail safe. I'm flying us out of here. I don't care what this Jumper says!"

He stalked off to the back of the Jumper and palmed the rear hatch open.

"Where are you going?" McKay called out.

"I'm going to check the perimeter."

Sheppard disappeared out of the Jumper and Teyla went to follow.

Ronon reached out for her arm.

"I'll go."

-------------------------------------

He found Sheppard leaning against the Jumper, head tipped up towards the sky and his eyes closed.

"Thought you were checking the perimeter?"

Sheppard didn't move.

"If McKay can't fix this-"

"He'll fix it."

Ronon pulled his coat around himself and stood awkwardly, the right words out of reach. He wanted to believe that Sheppard was able to fly them out of there, but outside in their bleached surroundings, Sheppard looked even more flushed and feverish.

"You're being an idiot."

Sheppard opened his eyes and smiled, "Thanks for the words of encouragement."

"I can make a run for the gate, bring back-"

"We're miles from the gate Ronon."

"I'm a fast runner."

"I know, but I don't think even you can outrun the cold."

Ronon knew he was telling the truth but still, he didn't like their chances. And neither of them was saying the obvious.

"Maybe…"

"McKay can fly but he can't fly through this. Remember that canyon I threaded through to get here?"

It had been a tight squeeze. Ronon had been impressed at the time so now he was realising the logistics of McKay piloting.

Sheppard was leaning heavily against the Jumper, his one hand pressed against the hull. He realised that he wasn't moving, wasn't checking the perimeter because he couldn't.

Because he was barely managing to stay upright.

"How's the perimeter?"

Ronon tried again.

"You coming back in?"

Sheppard shook his head, "I'm going to do one last check."

"I'll do it."

Sheppard smiled.

"Go inside."

His friend stared at his feet for a long time, not moving, not answering.

Finally, he took a step forwards and his legs crumpled beneath him. Ronon managed to grab onto his jacket before he landed in the snow and he caught part of an expletive escaping Sheppard's mouth.

"You knew that would happen didn't you?" Sheppard asked, holding onto Ronon as he guided him back to the Jumper.

"Had a feeling."

I'll be Home for Christmas

They steered him to the rear of the Jumper. Sheppard sagged into the seat, wincing as he let his head fall back against the hull.

"John?"

"Teyla, I'm fine. A little dizzy, a small headache but otherwise okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Must have the flu," Sheppard remarked rubbing at his hand again.

"Flu?" Teyla quirked an eyebrow, unsure as to what condition Sheppard was referring too.

"It's not serious," Sheppard provided.

Teyla looked to Ronon but he didn't seem to know what this Flu was either.

"We need to get out of here," Sheppard mumbled.

"I just want to check you over," Teyla asked already rifling through the medical kit.

She had undergone some basic, in the field training with Doctor Beckett and was proficient in using most of the equipment in their kit.

"Have you managed to get around that failsafe yet?" Sheppard shouted, leaning forwards to catch a glimpse of McKay.

Teyla placed the thermometer in Sheppard's ear. He wasn't making it easy for her, batting her away with his free hand and distractedly shouting across to Mckay.

"Do you know how long that could take?"

"Do you know how long our supplies are going to last?"

The thermometer beeped.

"We won't need supplies after you've killed us!"

"Rodney-"

"Boys!"

Teyla scolded them both and sat beside Sheppard.

"Sorry Teyla!"

"Your temperature is elevated."

"That's the flu for you," Sheppard said with a nod and before she could stop him he was heading over to McKay and sitting down in the pilot's seat.

"I can't work with you sitting over me like that!" McKay groused from under the console.

Sheppard had crossed his arms and was resting his feet up on the dash, "I'm just sitting in _my_ seat, waiting for you to fix _my_ Jumper so _I_ can fly us back to Atlantis."

"Doctor McKay?"

"Yes?"

Teyla crouched beside him and watched him work for a while longer before asking her question and directing her gaze at Sheppard, "Tell me about this flu?"

"I'm kind of busy here…."

But when he met her eyes, he seemed to soften a little and spoke while disconnecting one of the control crystals, "It's like a bad cold. Makes you dizzy, nauseous, headachy. You cough and sneeze. It's disgusting! Why? Do you have the flu?"

Sheppard ignored McKay and kept his eyes trained on her, "Well…that's how I feel."

The look in his eyes belayed what he was saying and Teyla didn't believe him, "John."

"Teyla."

"John. Is Flu……deadly?"

Sheppard chuckled quietly, "No…..not at all. Makes you feel like you want to crawl under a rock and die but I'll live."

She noticed that he was rubbing his hand again and the fine creases around his eyes told her that he was in pain. She didn't believe that he had this flu.

"What is wrong with your hand?"

Sheppard looked momentarily distracted, and then regarded his hand with a sigh, "Ronon got in a good hit yesterday. It just aches."

"May I take a look at it?"

"Keller checked it over pre-mission. It's just a sprain. I think the colds aggravating it. I'm fine Teyla. How much longer McKay?"

"Give me a few minutes and we'll try again. Do you really have the flu? Because I pick these things up so-"

"Rodney…….._keep_ working."

------------------------------------

"Are you really fine?" Ronon asked from his seat opposite Sheppard.

Sheppard had his eyes closed again and seemed to be swallowing convulsively in a manner that conveyed he wasn't feeling all too well.

"Sheppard?"

"Huh?" Sheppard snapped his eyes open and seemed confused for a minute.

"I asked if you were okay."

Sheppard wrapped his arms around himself, "How long have I been sleeping?"

Ronon tossed him his water canister, "Few minutes."

"Huh," Sheppard lifted the water to his mouth and Ronon couldn't help but notice his shaking hands.

"You're lying."

Sheppard didn't answer; he was rubbing at the bridge of his nose again.

"Were you injured back at the outpost?"

"What outpost?" Sheppard asked, blinking slowly.

"The ancient outpost with boobies. Sheppard?"

"Boobies?"

"Traps," Ronon amended. He seemed to get a strange response each time he used that word.

"What traps?"

"At the outpost…we were just there."

"The…yeah…I mean no….. Is it hot in here," Sheppard announced fanning his jacket.

Ronon caught the slight slur in his voice and watched Sheppard closely. He seemed unfocused, uncoordinated and it was worrying how easily distracted he was. Plus, even with the heaters on the ship was still cold.

"Sheppard are you…."

"We need to get back to Atlantis…..there was a rumour about turkey and cranberries….did I mention I love Christmas?"

"You want me to get Teyla?"

He wasn't any good at this stuff. He wasn't a medic.

"No. I might……." and Sheppard pushed himself up from his seat and swayed a little, "- I might go outside. Get some fresh air."

He slapped at the rear hatch control with all the coordination of a drunk.

----------------------------------------

McKay had been replacing the console crystals when Sheppard got up and palmed the rear hatch open. One minute he and Ronon had been speaking in hushed voices and the next he was gone.

"Ronon?"

Ronon stood dumbfounded at the rear to the hatch, staring out into the snow.

"Is John okay?"

"Gone outside to cool down. "

"Ronon?"

"Said he was feeling hot…..."

"And you let him?"

"He was acting….kinda strange. Said something about turkey?"

McKay looked up with wide eyes, "Turkey? Where?"

Teyla quickly grabbed for her coat and stepped out into the blizzard like conditions.

She found him standing not to far away.

"John, you can not stay out here. You'll freeze!" Teyla called out, grabbing his arm as he went to go further.

"I'm fine. Hot!" he mumbled; eyes unseeing.

"You must stay inside," she pleaded as Ronon came up behind her, "Please."

He managed to break out of her grasp and stagger out into the snowstorm, where he promptly dropped to his knees.

It _was_ freezing; the temperature had dropped further if that was at all possible, and the snow was falling in sheets. Thicker, colder and clinging to Sheppard's jacket where he stayed completely prone.

"John!"

He looked up at her with wide eyes and smiled unexpectedly, "Feeling much better."

"John, please come inside. You are not well."

"This is nice," he said in a dreamy voice, "Just leave me out here for a while."

"We can not do that."

Teyla looked back to where Ronon and McKay were watching them. Neither were making a move. She didn't miss the worried look that passed over McKay's face.

"Sheppard!"

"I _like_ snow…..reminds me of Christmas…….and snowmen. I like snowmen."

"Snowmen?"

"Men made out of snow," Sheppard provided as if she were insane to be asking what they were, "Me and my parents used to make one every year. Carrot, hat, pipe….you know?"

Teyla didn't. She had lost her father very young and had few memories of playing in the snow with him.

"Except one year my dad kinda went mad because I kitted mine out in his dress blues. But……… he looked nice….the snowman…"

"Rodney!" she called out for support, her voice lost over the wind.

"He can't fly us out of here," Sheppard said digging his hands into the snow and rolling it into a tight ball.

Ronon stalked towards her and gripped Sheppard by the armpits, dragging him upright.

"Snap out of it Sheppard!"

Sheppard tried to get away as if the touch burned him, "Get off me!"

"Stop being stubborn."

"I thought I was an idiot?" Sheppard asked slinking out of his grasp and staggering away again.

"You're that too!"

"That's not a nice way to speak to your CO."

And Teyla didn't miss the look that now passed over Ronon's face.

"I just need to stay out here," and Sheppard was tipping his head back, "It's pretty."

"He's completely out of it," McKay said startling them both.

Teyla looked over to the Jumper, where the inside was being covered in a thin layer of snow.

"Come on Sheppard. Stop messing around," McKay said.

"How about….a snowball fight? Come on……"

"A snowball fight? Are you insane?"

Sheppard looked between them all, "Just let me cool down then. Go back to the Jumper and I'll just stay here for a while. I promise I'll come back in when-"

"You're freezing," Teyla said and Ronon was making a move out of his coat, ready to drape it over Sheppard's shoulders.

"_Leave_ me alone," he groaned petulantly, "I'm not hurting anyone."

"Just put him over your shoulder and drag him back inside," McKay announced.

"Done," Ronon noted.

"I don't think so," and nobody missed the slurred edge to Sheppard's voice as he edged backwards, "Touch me and I'll-"

"That's it!" McKay grabbed Sheppard's arm.

Sheppard's uncoordinated attack took McKay by surprise and before he could react he was being slugged in the face. McKay dropped to his knees, groaning and spitting blood out.

"He hit me!"

"I'm _staying_ out _here_."

"Come on John."

Sheppard started to walk away and Ronon was chasing after him, spinning him around and stepping out of the way before Sheppard could throw up on him. He was doubled over; gagging on meagre stomach contents and Ronon arched an eyebrow and patted him on the back.

Teyla helped McKay back up to his feet, "He's delusional."

"I do not believe he has the flu. Something is wrong."

"I can't believe he hit me!"

McKay looked over to where Sheppard was still throwing up and met Teyla's glare.

Ronon managed to get Sheppard semi upright and started to haul him back towards the Jumper. Sheppard was groaning and saying something about building snowmen when Ronon ushered him passed them.

They guided him back into the Jumper and Sheppard sat down. He was obviously having trouble focusing.

"John?"

"Feel strange," he said blinking again, mouth parting slightly as if he were going to say something else.

Ronon was standing off to the side obviously feeling useless.

"Hot. I _liked_ it out there."

"I am sure it provided a little relief John, but any longer out there and you would be doing yourself more damage."

"Well….." he paused and licked his lips, "…at least get me out of these."

He raised his arms like a helpless toddler and indicated to his jacket, scarf and gloves.

"Okay, John…."

Teyla pulled off one glove and set it aside.

It was when she pulled off his other glove did she notice something odd.

"John…..how did this happen?"

Sheppard seemed to be struggling to stay awake and she noted that his pupils were large.

Teyla turned his hands over and looked at the palm of his hand. In each fingertip there seemed to be a puncture mark. They looked fresh. What was even more worrying was that he had a rash which extended from around the marks and seemed to spread up his arm.

"Ronon, help me get him out of his coat."

They struggled together and eventually removed his jacket. Teyla gasped when she realised the rash was all the way up to his wrist and was red and bruised.

"John, how did this happen?" she pressed again, panic beginning to set in.

"Don't know," he said staring at his hand, "One of the consoles…..outpost. Got ….a shock ……when I turned it on."

Teyla felt her stomach clench, "Rodney!"

"What?" McKay rounded the corner, "What is that?"

"He said he did it at the outpost. When he touched one of the consoles."

"When he activated it?" McKay's eyes widened, "That place was rigged. Who knows what that is?"

"Looks bad," Ronon noted.

Teyla felt her stomach churn again, "The sickness, the confusion…."

"What is it?" Sheppard asked suddenly, staring at his arm with a look of bewilderment.

Teyla stood up and ushered Ronon and McKay close.

"It looks like a poisonous reaction. I have seen this in many of my people."

"Poison?"

McKay peered over her shoulder to where Sheppard was listing to the side. Ronon reached forward and managed to stop his sliding decent.

"Thanks buddy," Sheppard mumbled.

He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands.

"His condition has declined rapidly," Teyla looked to the weather outside, "We need to get him back to Atlantis."

"But he can't fly!"

"I know."

"And its too far by foot, he could be dead by the time we get help back!"  
"I _know_."

Mckay's eyes widened in horror, "Oh no no no."

"You have too."

"Oh no. Have you seen the weather out here?"

Teyla steered McKay away, "You are the only one that can fly this ship. We can not risk waiting."  
"It might not be poison."

And by the look in his eyes, Teyla knew that he was clutching at straws, as his earth people said.

"But if it is?"

"He said he felt a shock, like being electrocuted…I heard him. It can't be poison."

"Maybe it felt like a shock but he has fresh puncture wounds."

"From the……"

Teyla arched an eyebrow.

"From the poison probably."

"Rodney, you have to make a decision."

"I cant' fly this through that storm. I can barely see."

"Look at him."

McKay looked passed her and the colour drained from his face. Sheppard was being propped up by Ronon, and he didn't look at all well.

"Rodney?"

Sleigh ride

McKay sat down at the pilot seat and felt his gut clench with nerves. He couldn't do this.

Although he had once told Sheppard that flying straight in space was all relative he knew that this time it wouldn't be. He needed to be precise. He had to concentrate and keep the Jumper level and……he couldn't think with Sheppard shouting and fighting with Ronon behind him.

"What's wrong?"

He twisted in his seat and caught a glimpse of Sheppard's flailing hands from the rear where Ronon was pinning him against the seat.

"Rodney, you must hurry!" Teyla shouted in a panicked voice.

He turned back to the forward portal, "Okay," he announced to himself, "I can do this."

He placed his hands on the front console and took the controls in his hands.

"John, you must calm down!"

"I need to get out of here!"

"We're taking you home. You need a doctor."

The engines were beginning to thrum loudly and as he concentrated on lifting upwards he could feel the mental struggle between his mind, the Jumper and the weather outside. He wondered if it was ever this hard for Sheppard.

"John!"

McKay tried not to react to Teyla's shouts but he couldn't focus. He needed to start again. Regroup. He dropped the Jumper back down to the ground and readjusted the inertial dampeners to compensate for the blustering wind.

"You can do this Rodney," Teyla encouraged from behind.

"Get off me," Sheppard shouted, "I want…..I want to go outside. It's nice out there…..cold…I'm…"

And Sheppard's words were drowned out as Teyla tried to get him to calm down.

Mckay thought he heard her say something about Sheppard's condition worsening. The impetus was there.

He had to do this. He had to get them back to the gate. Sheppard was relying on him.

It wasn't any different from usual really. It was just this time he was doing Sheppard's job and it was making him nervous.

"Okay," he said again and strapped himself into the seat.

It wouldn't make a difference if they crashed but he needed all the reassurance he could get.

"You need to sit down back there!" he said in a voice constricted with dread.

Sheppard had quietened a little, or maybe passed out; he didn't risk a look over his shoulder.

Back to the task at hand.

He lifted the Jumper off the ground.

Flying wasn't as intuitive as it was with Sheppard. Sheppard had an almost enviable connection with the city, with the Jumpers, with ancient technology, that McKay just didn't have. Sheppard was a natural; his skills were ingrained, a birth right. His were manufactured and practiced. He couldn't command the technology near enough as well and he definitely wasn't flying the Jumper with any of the Colonel's finesse.

The Jumper was pitching drunkenly to the side; he was having trouble keeping it level and adjusting for the weather. Visibility was at an all time low and he was relying solely on the Jumper's forward navigational system to keep him in the right direction.

"Are we flying?" he heard Sheppard say from the rear.

"Yes John. We are taking you home."

"I'm not flying. Am I?"

McKay snorted at the remark. Sheppard really had lost it.

"No John. Rodney is going to get us home."

McKay felt the pressure being piled on even more. He was sure of many things. Maths, physics, science in general he knew, but this……flying……….he wasn't so sure.

"Rodney can't fly," and there was panic in his voice, "I couldn't even fly us out of this."

"No John, because you are sick."

"We're going to die. He's going to kill my ship!"

McKay wanted to turn and say that was his line but he kept his mouth shut.

"We need to land now," Sheppard was saying, "The weather's too bad."

"If we land…you could die. You've been poisoned."

"Have I?"

"Yes…don't you remember?"

McKay concentrated on keeping them in the right direction. Sheppard couldn't even fly them? What did he mean by that? That didn't make sense.

Of course he could. Okay, so there hadn't been in a glitch with Jumper and yes Sheppard had flown in worst states so the only way he wouldn't have been able to fly is if……..

And then it clicked.

The Jumper hadn't been preventing Sheppard from flying before. Sheppard had. It was after all a mental connection. Sheppard had known he couldn't get them out of there so the Jumper hadn't been responding like before.

"What do you mean you couldn't fly us out of here?"

There was no response. Sheppard was shouting about something or other. His question was lost.

He felt a surge of overwhelming panic as his hands gripped the controls with white knuckles and he realised that he was out of his depth. The view screen was flickering as he began to lose his connection, as his concentration waned.

"I can't do this!" he shouted out but the voice was lost over the others trying to calm Sheppard.

He felt the Jumper pitch again and he forced himself to right it.

"I need to land," he said to himself, "Yes I'll just set us down and…oh why are you doing that?"

The screen flickered again and for one frightening moment he was flying blind with snow smothering the forward portal.

"Come on………"

He forced his mind to connect again and the screen flickered back up, revealing canyons ahead, mountainous terrain that he would need to fly over.

He needed more altitude.

"John, calm down!"

It was becoming too much.

He could sense that Teyla and Ronon were fighting behind him and the reflection from the front screen showed Sheppard at the rear hatch again.

"John, just sit down with us. We'll be fine."

The panic stricken feeling was beginning to make him feel sick and McKay was fighting to fly straight, to keep them in the air. To make matters worse, his head was aching from his attempts to keep the connection going.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and was surprised when Sheppard was standing next to him, locking his legs to stay upright.

"You need to land this thing Rodney."

For the first time since he had re-entered the Jumper, Sheppard sounded completely lucid.

"I'm just looking for a good spot," McKay ground out.

"Bring up the terrain on the screen…….and-"

Sheppard was pointing to a flat area with a shaking hand at the same moment McKay finally lost it.

The Jumper slanted and started to take a nose dive. He could hear his heart beat rushing through his ears. Sheppard was gripping the forward console, almost at his knees, as he tried to remain standing.

The underbelly of the Jumper struck something hard, pitched, twisted roughly as it dragged across tree tops below and after a painful eternity it landed.

However, it didn't stop.

Instead, it continued to slide across the snow, smashing through tree trunks, tearing up the ground until the mouth of the ravine revealed itself and the Jumper dropped over the edge.

Up on the housetop

The darkness was broken by flashes of light and the sound of howling wind. McKay opened his eyes and found himself still in the seat, vertical, the seatbelt suspending him. He recalled his own failure to get them back and felt sick, but even worse than that he realised that the Jumper had gone over the edge of a canyon but had somehow become precariously lodged and they were dangling high up over an icy river.

Something sparked beside him and McKay winced. His head was aching, but then, so was the rest of his body.

He was almost afraid to breathe, as if by doing so the Jumper would dislodge and fall. There was an ominous creaking sound and he held in a breath. Waiting for the inevitable.

It never happened.

"Rodney?"

The weak voice came from above; he couldn't unbuckle himself or twist and there was something warm trickling into his eye.

"Teyla?"

"Are you okay?"

"Aside from the whiplash?" McKay wiped at his face and saw his fingers come away bloodied, "Are you?"

"Ronon and I managed to hold onto to the equipment racks."

There was silence for a few minutes. The sound of the howling wind, the creaking, the smell of burnt out consoles and blood.

It was then that he remembered Sheppard had been stood next to him at the time of impact.

He looked more closely at the forward portal, the large crack in the window and……._Sheppard_. He'd missed him before, but he was lying on his front, spread-eagled on the screen, blood colouring the glass by his nose and mouth. Below that McKay could see the river rushing by, spitting up ice cold water. They were suspended over it.

High.

"Teyla?"

"I know. Is he breathing?"

"I can't tell," McKay tried to lean forward to see.

He didn't need to look for signs. Sheppard groaned but didn't wake up.

"Oh thank god. He's alive, just out of it."

"Rodney!"

"Yeah?"

"Do you see what I see?"

McKay took a closer look at the glass Sheppard was lying on.

"We need to get him off that!"

There was a crack in the glass by his hand and It seemed to be growing. Enough pressure and the whole thing would go

"I can't move!" McKay shouted, "If I undo this strap, I'm going to fall onto the glass."

"Okay," Teyla's voice sounded weak and it was unnerving to McKay that he couldn't see for himself that she was okay.

"The rear hatch has buckled. Ronon and I can climb out."

"And that helps us how?"

"We are close to the gate. On foot it would take an hour."

"You can't leave us here."

There was the sound of creaking above and then McKay could see snow falling into the cock pit.

"We're on the edge of a cliff!" Ronon shouted from above.

"Oh really…I hadn't noticed! Where have you been?"

"Outside. I climbed out while you were talking. Look, if you stay where you are and don't move, this ship isn't going to fall."

"Great! And what if you two climbing out changes the equilibrium?"

"It wont."

"I'm the scientist. I know what I'm talking about."

"The ship is tilted at an angle on a ledge, but it isn't going anywhere, so sit tight. We'll make it back to the gate and bring back help."

"What about Sheppard? The first thing he's going to do when he wakes is move."

"Then make sure he doesn't."

"You had met Sheppard before we crashed. He was out of it. He wasn't listening to any of us. Why is that going to change now?"

"Just keep him still. We will be back soon."

"Hurry!"

------------------------------

It had been an hour since Teyla and Ronon had left to get help and McKay had alternated between obsessing over the creaking noises the Jumper was making from its precarious position on the edge of the cliff and watching Sheppard.

Strangely, it was the worrying about Sheppard that seemed to dominate.

He hadn't stirred. He remained lying flat out on his stomach, head to the side, one hand outstretched to his side, the other lying awkwardly somewhere between his body and the cracked glass. He was still breathing; the glass by his mouth kept steaming with each reassuring breathe.

McKay fiddled with the strap digging into his shoulder and wondered what the downsides would be with all of the blood rushing to the front of his head. Could it cause brain damage? And would the strap hold?

Something creaked above him and he tried to twist to see what it was. He held his breath, waiting, hoping the Jumper wasn't going to lose its balance and tumble into the icy water below. What if the strap was jammed? What if they crashed into the water and he was trapped in his seat only to drown and……….

He shook his head to force the idea out of his head. Anyway, that was if he even survived the impact.

"Gnnuhhh…"

McKay was started back to reality by the sound below him and he realised with a wave of mixed relief that Sheppard was beginning to regain consciousness. He groaned again.

"Sheppard?"

All McKay could think was that the glass wasn't going to hold. He'd seen it break before. Been trapped in that water…..

"Sheppard….whatever you do. Don't move."

"Gnuhh…."

Sheppard was extricating the hand that had been underneath him and was attempting to roll onto his side.

"What did I tell you? Stay still…..Sheppard……are you even listening to me?"

Sheppard stilled and cracked his eyes open.

"Rodney?"

"Yes…it's me."

Sheppard bought his hand up to his face and scrubbed across his forehead. He left a bloody trail.

"What happened?"

McKay was feeling jittery, overcome by nerves, fearful Sheppard would try to get up again when he told him the truth.

"We….."

"Crashed," Sheppard finished for him in a slurred voice, "Told you…..you couldn't fly this thing…."

"Yes well……..we're okay so just stay still. Okay?"

Sheppard swallowed thickly and nodded, "What happened?"

"I just…" McKay sighed, "The Jumper is kind of……stuck at the minute."

"Stuck?"

"On the edge of a cliff and –"

Sheppard had twisted around and was staring down at the river below, "There's a river!"

"I know."

Sheppard was trying to push himself up and the pressure was forming more cracks in the forward portal. They were bleeding outwards.

"Sheppard!"

"I need to get out of here," Sheppard mumbled and his voice slurred, "I _need_ to get out."

"You have to stay still."

The complications of Sheppard's poisoning were becoming apparent.

"Sheppard…stop moving, you're going to-"

Sheppard had managed to get himself onto his side, but he didn't seem to have the strength to move any further. It was a small mercy considering.

"Look, Teyla and Ronon have gone to get help, so we just need to sit tight and wait for them to return with the cavalry."

"It's hot in here. Wouldn't be a bad thing if I fell."

"Yes it would, because I would have to come in after you and as much as I love taking a dip in ice cold water I'd rather not have to today."

Sheppard went still and smiled, "You're funny."

"You're drugged. Just…..don't move."

"I'm not moving," Sheppard stated, blinking against the snow that was falling through the crack above them.

"I'm sure Teyla and Ronon are on their way."

"Ronon's fast. "

"Yes….exactly."

McKay tried to pull the strap out of his shoulder but he was having no luck. He couldn't feel his right arm by now and he doubted how long he could stay in his position. At least Sheppard was comfortable suspended over the water.

Sheppard was staring at his hand and McKay could see that the rash had extended further up his arm. The man must have been freezing. He was kitted out in his t-shirt and tac vest, arms exposed to the freezing elements.

"Why didn't you tell us about your hand?"

Sheppard just stared back at him, face flushed red with fever, licking his lips continuously.

"Well…..it doesn't surprise me."

"Didn't know."

"And if you had known I expect you would have kept it from us."

"I'm not an idiot Rodney," and he'd stressed his name, "If I had known I would have told you. Like I said…thought it was a shock from the console."

"Either way, you should have told us."

"Hey!" Sheppard held up a pointed finger, "Don't blame me!"

"Let's just be quiet huh?"

Sheppard twisted onto his back again, "I ache."

McKay could hear the creaking again, ominous as it was. He wished he could get out of the Jumper some how. He felt vulnerable as they were. Who knows when the Jumper could lose its balance and fall? It felt like he was just waiting for it to happen.

"Stop moving!"

Sheppard stopped dead, "Feel weird….."

"I know……just please stay still."

"My skins crawling….." Sheppard lifted his hand carefully and rubbed at his arm, "Dizzy…."

"Well, that's the poison……." And that was his words of reassurance? "I mean…….that's why you feel weird….but you'll be fine because Ronon and Teyla will bring help."

"I don't think this glass is going to hold…." Sheppard was moving again and the glass seemed to be creaking in its hinges.

"Stop it!"

"Rodney….."

"Just stay still…..look….uh….it's nearly Christmas. What do you want?"

Sheppard blinked dizzily and scowled.

"For Christmas…..come on Sheppard….."

"I thought you didn't like Christmas?"

"What's not to love? It's an excuse to get fat, drink and watch television."

"It gets in the way of your 'big' world saving discoveries…" Sheppard said in a dreamy voice.

"Well…there is that…but still, come on….what do you want?"

"A new Jumper……"

"What? " At Sheppard's look he continued to babble, "Okay, woollen? Cotton? Red? Bl-"

Sheppard groaned and rubbed at his eyes as if he were having trouble focusing, "Not _Jumper_ Jumper. I mean a Puddlejumper……….because from where I'm lying right now…it looks like you broke mine."

"It was an accident!"

"I told you not to fly," and the slur was back, the wide glassy eyes. Sheppard was struggling.

"Look….we'll get out of this….."

--------------

"You know…." And Sheppard was moving again.

It was as if he couldn't help testing the strength of the glass, or maybe that's what he was doing, "-you could climb out of here."

He probably could.

"That's a stupid idea……"

"I'm telling you. This glass is not going to hold."

"If you stay still it will."

"With our luck?" Sheppard laughed, "You could climb out of here."

"Yes yes, you already said that…"

He'd just need to slip out of his restraints, climb up over the seat, pull himself up into the rear and he could slide out of the crumbled rear hatch to safety. The problem was that Sheppard couldn't, if he stood up on that glass it would probably break. Unless….

"If we had some rope….." McKay scanned the inside of the Jumper but he couldn't see anything close enough to be of use. The rope was stored in the racks in the rear and to reach those he would need to climb.

"Ropes….….." Sheppard pointed up to the rear hatch.

"I know….but I'd have to climb and the Jumper might fall….."

"It might not."

"With our luck?"

"Fine," Sheppard went to push himself up and the cracks in the portal widened.

"Stop!"

Sheppard sagged backwards.

"Fine….I'll do it. Just don't move," he went to unbuckle his harness, "But…..I'm not leaving you here."

Sheppard waved a dismissive hand at him and closed his eyes.

"Just…stay still…."

Slipping out of the harness had been unexpectedly easy. McKay had used all of his reserves of strength to pull himself up over the chair, broken consoles and into the rear hatch. The hull walls had become his floor as he searched the equipment racks for rope. He could see the broken rear hatch. His way out.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful…"

McKay peered down at Sheppard and rolled his eyes.

"But the fire is so delightful…and since we've no place to go…let it snow, let it snow, let it snow….."

As McKay fumbled with the tight bindings that were around the rope he listened to Sheppard continue to sing. He really was out of it. A lucid Sheppard would never _ever_ sing in public.

"It doesn't show signs of stopping………….. …..popping….."

The lights in the Jumper finally dipped and what consoles were alight died out. It was creepy and the darkness made the wind sound louder and the ship feel colder.

"The lights are turned way down low…."

McKay sighed and said, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it-"

The box slipped out of his hands before he had time to react, hit the floor by his feet and skittered over the edge. Time seemed to slow as Mckay shouted to Sheppard to move.

Sheppard, who was still mid verse, hadn't heard him and didn't react.

The box slammed down onto the glass beside his head and there was complete silence.

McKay let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding, "Oh my god," he said to Sheppard's laughter, "It didn't break!"

Sheppard seemed just as amazed, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it-"

He'd spoken to soon. The cracks were growing and before he had time to cast down the rope, the glass was breaking and Sheppard was dropping down into the icy water below.

Frosty the snowman

McKay stayed frozen in perfect stillness, watching as Sheppard struck the water below, staring at the space he had been a few seconds before. He had to get down there, but who knew how long it would take to climb down. It only left one, terrifying conclusion.

He'd have to jump in after him.

The water was ice cold and for a moment it stole his breath away. After he had recovered from the initial shock and established that he hadn't broken his legs in the fall, he kicked hard to stay above the surface. The current wasn't as strong as it had looked from above but it still dragging at him, trying to pull him under.

"She-" the words caught in his throat along with the water.

"Sheppard!"

He spotted him bobbing up and down and kicked his way over to him, reaching his motionless body and pulling it over to the edge. Every muscle in his body ached but he managed to find a ledge and spent a few awkward minutes trying to pull the Colonel out of the water.

"Sheppard!"

McKay had never felt so cold and his fingers were numb as he pressed them against Sheppard's neck. He couldn't feel if there was a pulse and tried to breathe hotly onto his fingers to restore some sensation. It was like pins and needles all over his body; painful and debilitating and all he wanted to do was to lie down and close his eyes.

"Stupid dumb luck…."

Sheppard wasn't moving and his lips were tinged blue.

"Sheppard…..come on," he tried to shake him, his white fingers splicing with pain as his blood tried to circulate, "Don't do this! I jumped in after you…the least you could do is be alive."

The snow was falling heavier; he hadn't noticed before, but now it was smothering him and covering Sheppard in a thick layer. They'd definitely missed their window for escape.

"Don't make me do this," McKay muttered as he tried to feel for a pulse again.

Either his fingers were dead or Sheppard was, because he didn't feel anything thrumming under his fingers.

"If I do this and you're awake we're going to be pretty embarrassed and…..and……you're really not breathing."

He moved onto his knees for better purchase and started compressions, all the while trying to cast his mind back to the enforced medical sessions he had had to endure with Carson and had moaned throughout. He counted as he worked.

"One and two and three and-"

He leaned forwards and prised Sheppard's mouth open, looking over his shoulder briefly make sure no one was watching before he breathed into his mouth.

He resumed compressions and felt something crack under his finger. He felt sick and hot but he remembered Carson telling him that if you do it correctly sometimes it will happen. Sheppard would be dead if he didn't do this and he was sure Sheppard would rather have a broken rib than the alternative.

He continued for what seemed like hours, glancing furtively over his shoulder every time he breathed into Sheppard's mouth, wondering whether it was some elaborate joke and that personnel from Atlantis were going to pop up at any second and laugh.

But they didn't.

It was on the tenth set of compressions, the ones that had convinced McKay that he was dead, that Sheppard suddenly coughed up all of the water that had been suffocating him. He rolled onto his side instinctively and McKay patted his back and waited.

Sheppard coughed and coughed and coughed and it was the single most wonderful thing McKay had ever heard.

"Gah…."

McKay was so tired. All he wanted to do was lie down. The snow looked like one big cushion.

"Gahhhhh ack……"

Sheppard made some uncoordinated effort to get up onto his elbows but dropped his head back and clamped his eyes shut.

"Are you okay?"

Sheppard was shivering and McKay's own teeth were chattering so loudly he could barely hear his reply.

When he leaned in close it sounded like "_damn that's cold!"_

"I told you not to move," McKay grumbled scanning the surroundings to see if there was anything resembling shelter.

"Not…time….to argue," Sheppard groaned.

"Well……..you _did_ move…"

"You dropped…..the…..box……"

"We need to find Shelter."

"We _had_ shelter," Sheppard whispered.

"You wanted to leave."

"I did?"

"Yes….you did. Anyway, I'd prefer _this_ over dangling over the edge of a cliff in a death can."

Sheppard groaned again and rolled onto his side to cough again.

"Well…this day isn't going so well."

"Jumper is…" Sheppard opened his eyes, "….salvageable at least."

McKay nodded, "I suppose."

It was then that they heard ominous creaking again.

"Do you hear……."

Sheppard closed his eyes as the Jumper suddenly dropped from the sky and crashed into the river. The Jumper seemed to fight the current and even bob on the surface for a while, making it's own futile fight for survival, but it finally succumbed to the icy water and disappeared from sight.

"I……..can't believe that just happened!" Sheppard ground out between chattering teeth.

"We need to find Shelter."

Sleep well little children

The going was tough, the weather was making it impossible to make any real progress and Teyla could now barely feel her hands.

Her clothes, her hair were all caked with snow and all she wanted to do was sleep. Ronon was trudging on ahead of her, casting looks over his shoulder now and again to make sure she was still behind him but she got the sense that he would make progress much quicker without her.

"Ronon!" She called out, her lips chapped and sore from the wind.

He continued to walk, her voice apparently lost over the howling wind.

"Ronon!"

The snow was getting deeper and her legs were burning with every step. She was fit and healthy and even she was struggling.

"Ronon!"

Finally, he turned around and met her with dark determined eyes. They shared a look and he nodded and took off into the snow.

--------------------------------------

"Sheppard!"

"Sheppard!"

"_Tired_."

"I know but you can't sleep………..come on get up."

He managed to half drag Sheppard into a standing position but he was leaning heavily on him that he could barely take a step forward. The snow was thick and he was already knee deep by the time they took a single step.

"Don't feel so good."

"I know, I know."

"I don't think I like the snow anymore."

Sheppard took one step and dragged McKay down again, "Really?"

"Let's just lie here."

"We can't just lie here…..it's exposed and….."

It was nice. If he just closed his eyes then…_no_……

"Come on…up!"

"Gnuhh," Sheppard planted a naked hand down onto the snow and groaned, "Feel sick."

"Uh huh…come on, get up."

"Let me just stay here a minute," Sheppard grumbled breathing in heavily.

"If you're going throw up…do it now so we can move."

"I can't just force it," Sheppard slurred, "Just wait."

"You get one minute and then we're moving."

McKay looked up at the sky and listened as Sheppard coughed and spat into the snow. One day their luck was going to run out. He just hoped it wasn't today.

"Better?"

Sheppard shook his head, "Not really."

Mckay managed to get Sheppard to walk all but three steps before he collapsed in a heap in the snow again. Even though it was below freezing, his forehead was burning up with fever and he was really sick. They had managed to find a sheltered overhang but it was still exposed and they were both glacial.

Sheppard had sat down and Mckay had pressed himself into his side.

He had never seen Sheppard like this before. He seemed determined to give up. He wanted to as well and maybe there was a time long ago where he would have just closed his eyes and accepted his fate; only, with this team, _his_ team, they always seemed to pull through. There was always some divine intervention and he wasn't going to give up just yet. There was too much to do.

"I don't feel so good," Sheppard whispered.

McKay hunched his shoulders against the biting wind, "You're…" and he wanted to say fine, "You're still alive."

Sheppard rolled his head back and McKay realised with horror that Sheppard didn't have his jacket on. His arms were naked, covered in a thick layer of snow.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sheppard shrugged.

"Here."

McKay pulled himself out of his jacket.

"Here…put this on."

Sheppard eyes were drifting closed again.

"Sheppard! Colonel!"

"What?" Sheppard snapped his eyes open and stared at him with bright bloodshot eyes, "Where….?"

As he helped Sheppard into his all but frozen jacket he explained again, the crash, the water………it was happening with more frequency. Sheppard was becoming lost to the poison, to the fever, to the cold.

"Are you okay?"

McKay laughed at the question, "You're asking me?"

"You've got a cut…" Sheppard gestured to his face.

Sheppard was sporting his own selection of cuts. He had a gash above his eyebrow, an angry looking bruise on his chin and his nostrils were crusted with blood. Obviously, he'd taken a beating in the crash.

McKay had barely registered his own injuries, "I do? Does it look bad? Sheppard?"

"Can you hear……"

"What is that?"

It sounded like voices….far away in the distance.

"Maybe it's the cavalry."

"No…." McKay tilted his head and looked towards Sheppard's tactical vest.

Sheppard didn't bat his hands away as he searched the pockets and he found in one of the pockets a plastic bag and in that bag was a radio.

"You…." McKay smiled.

Only Sheppard would have thought of that. They had come to an ice planet, he knew there would be water and he had packed a back up radio in a sealed bag.

"You…genius!"

"I'll……remember……. you said……. that."

"No you wont," McKay said as depressing the speak button.

"_Rodney, can you hear me?"_

"Yes Teyla I can….tell me you are on the way with a rescue team."

"_I am sorry Rodney……Ronon went on ahead. He should have reached the gate….."_

"Teyla?"

"_I'm here……….just……..he should have reached the gate by now.__ How is John?"_

"You're alone?"

"_I am fine……just….tired__. John?"_

Sheppard was watching him closely, forcing his eyes to stay open, "She's alone?"

McKay nodded, "He's fine. Teyla? You have to stay awake…"

"Tell her not to sleep."

"I have……"

"_Can't block the radio signal. Ronon will need it when………."_

"Teyla?"

---------------------------

"A warm bath."

McKay turned to Sheppard and crossed his arms to keep out the cold, "What?"

"That's what you can get me for Christmas."

"That's what you're thinking about?"

Sheppard chuckled, "Yeah. Why not?"

McKay shrugged. Why not after all?

"What about you? What do you want?"

"A ZPM."

"How about…." And Sheppard was leaning heavily into his side, his elbow jutting into his arm, "….how about I make you a snowman?"

"How about you just stay alive? And maybe give me your supply of chocolate that I know you have stashed in your room."

"I'm not doing so good…..I'll try."

"Ronon will bring help and we'll be home in a few hours. Did you mention Turkey earlier?"

"Yeah…the kitchen staff managed to get a few birds in the last supply run. Big ones. I think I saw tins of cranberry sauce too."

McKay pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He didn't understand how he could have no sensation and still be uncomfortable.

"Do you think she's okay? Teyla?"

"Where's my gun? I had it………it was here I…."

"We took it off you."

"Why?"  
"Because………"

Sheppard's lucidity was gone again and it was utterly frustrating.

"Because you're sick."

"I am?"

"Yes………"

"Oh…………"

"Sheppard?"

"Hmmmmm?"

"Sheppard?"

"Hmmm."

"You have to stay awake."

"I'm just resting my eyes."

"That's called sleep. Come on…talk to me…….anything. Sheppard?"

------------------------------

"Shep….."

Hours had gone by. Sheppard had talked for a long time but after a while he had gone silent. McKay had decided to let him sleep for a bit. He'd been sick again and the fever had made him more delusional than he had been earlier. He'd wanted to take a dip in the river again to cool off. McKay had convinced him to stay put and Sheppard had rambled on about something or other for a while before drifting off.

McKay had tried to keep his mind busy while timing Sheppard's sleep. He'd give him a few more minutes.

"You know. I'm not even cold now. Not even shivering. That's bad I think…..Sheppard?"

------------------------------------

Distant broken voices brought McKay back to life. He stretched, barely able to feel his fingers and toes by now, his thin sweater doing nothing to keep out the cold and he realised with disdain that he had fallen asleep.

The crackling continued and he forced himself to move even though his thoughts were sluggish and he was incredibly tired.

"Sheppard!"

His voice was barely audible over the wind and snow.

Sheppard, the lump currently lying beside him with his elbows digging into his side, wasn't moving; his lips were slightly blue and his eyelashes were tipped with frozen ice. He was quiet…….way too quiet.

"Sheppard….wake up……"

McKay gave him a prod and sighed.

"Come on……..wake up."

He found the source of the voices and pulled Sheppard's radio out of his tactical vest. With frozen fingers he depressed the talk button. The voice on the other end sounded familiarly comforting.

"Major Lorne, is that you?"

"_That it is Doctor McKay…"_

"Oh thank god! Where are you? It's freezing! Have you found Teyla? She was alone and-"

Major Lorne's calm voice stalled him, _"We picked her up on the life signs detector……she's a little cold but she's fine."_

"I thought……."

Now he was awake, everything was beginning to hurt. He just wanted to sleep.

"_McKay?"_

Lorne had been speaking and he hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"Sorry Major…I drifted off for a second…"

It was hard to stay awake when sleeping seemed to steal away the pain.

"_I said we've got you on the life signs detector as well."_

"It's about time……did I mention I'm freezing and-"

"_Yeah I got that. I think the snow was a clue."_

"Funny."

"_Now we just need to find the Colonel."_

McKay wasn't sure if he had heard right, "Well……he's here with me."

"_He is?"_

And Lorne sounded surprised, disbelieving even.

"Yeah he's right……"

McKay gave Sheppard a gentle shake but there was no movement from him. Not even a hand batting him away and telling him to leave him alone just like a few hours ago. At least, Mckay thought it had been a few hours ago. He had no idea how long he had been asleep.

"I was tired……I think I fell asleep."

"_McKay, uh…we're…….we're not picking him up on the life signs detector right now."_

"Well then, it must be broken…….because he's right here. He's just sleeping…Sheppard! The cavalries here wake up!"

It was disturbing how quiet Sheppard was. He'd been ranting and raving before; restless.

"Sheppard?"

"_McKay….we have you're position. We're on our way."_

McKay managed to get up onto his knees for the first time in hours, all the stiffness and coldness forgotten, "I think you need to hurry!"

McKay had drifted off again and had woken to worried faces peering over his. He'd been pretty out of it himself but he knew that Lorne had managed to get Sheppard's heart started again. He could hear Sheppard groaning and panicked voices.

"Is he okay?"

McKay was hauled up to his feet and something warm was being wrapped around him. He was pushed and cajoled forwards through the snow all the while Sheppard's pained voice piercing his consciousness; he barely remembered making it back to Atlantis.

Sheppard was carried on a stretcher and as soon as they entered the gateroom there was a hive of activity around him. He could barely get a look in as nursing staff and Doctor Keller took his vitals and tried to establish what had happened. Carson would have allowed him to oversee what was going on. It was an unspoken agreement between them. Keller pushed him away and asked for room.

"He was poisoned," McKay mumbled.

"Doctor McKay, we need to get you to the infirmary and under a warming blanket," one of the nurse's said guiding him away.

"I want to stay."

"The Colonel will be coming to the Infirmary too so you'll be able to see him there. Let's get you warm."

It's the most wonderful time of the year

McKay entered the infirmary hesitantly. Last time he had been in here there had been a whirl of activity and he had been gripped with a fear unlike any other.

They had managed to get Sheppard back to Atlantis but he was completely unresponsive. They'd hooked him up to various machines, kept his body temperature lowered and only when they had figured out the antidote for the poison had they been able to raise his body temperature. Sheppard had woken hours later dazed and confused; asking first if he had missed Christmas. He'd predicatively tried to make a break for it and had to be sedated. He'd woken up a few more hours after that, feverish and achy; apparently he had also neglected to mention, or it had been missed in his initial examination, that his shoulder was partially dislocated. McKay had also managed to break one of his ribs.

All in all it hadn't been a good day for the Colonel and McKay felt utterly responsible.

A sneeze snatched him away from his internal reverie and he looked up to see Sheppard sitting upright in bed with a tissue over his nose.

He was looking utterly miserable. His eyes were watery, his nose was running and red and his chest was thick with congestion. He coughed into a clenched fist and groaned.

"Come do make fun od me?" Sheppard asked around his tissue.

He blew his nose violently and lay back in the bed, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead.

"Hey, it's not my fault you're sick."

"Id is," Sheppard mumbled, "I have a demperdure"

"You know," and McKay pulled a chair to sit next to Sheppard's bed.

He was close enough for conversation but not close enough for contamination, "-technically I saved your life."

"Oh nod dis again…..you did nod save my libe……" Sheppard crossed his arms and sniffed again.

"Well…." McKay shrugged, "-if we hadn't crashed then you wouldn't have ended up in the freezing water."

"No…I'd be warm and well."

Sheppard blew his nose again and tossed the tissue next to the hundred other discarded snotty tissues.

"Doctor Keller said that your lowered body temperature meant that your circulation slowed enough for the poison to stop spreading around your body. So….._therefore_…I saved _your_ life."

"If we'd neber gone do dat planed then I wouldn't have been poisoned."

"Technicalities." McKay smiled.

"You still broke my Jumber."

Sheppard was like a petulant child and McKay couldn't help but grin. Sheppard hated been sick at the best of times. His cuts and bruises seemed to have healed well, even if his chin was still black and blue and the shoulder didn't seem to be causing him discomfort, but then, he was on the strong painkillers.

"I feel awful……"

McKay reached into his pocket and placed a small wrapped up object onto the bed.

Sheppard regarded it with narrowed eyes and sniffed. "Whad's dat?"

McKay feigned ignorance.

"A present?"

"Well……it is Christmas…"

"Id is?" Sheppard looked confused, "I thought I missed id……huh…"

Sheppard placed his crumpled tissue aside and inspected the wrapping before carefully opening the package.

He took the object out and smiled, "Rodney. You god me a Jumper?"

"We found what looks to be an old play room in the north east sector of the city. Thought you might like it……being a big kid and all……"

Sheppard rolled his eyes but kept the tiny replica puddle Jumper clasped between his fingers, "I'm nod a kid……but id is preddy cool."

"I know it doesn't make up for the Jumper that i…….put out of requisition but-"

"No…dis is cooler."

"Yes well…..Merry Christmas Colonel."

"So…uh…whad udder toys did you find?"

We wish you a Merry Christmas

"Rodney?"

McKay opened his eyes and realised that he had fallen asleep in the chair by Sheppard's bed. Sheppard had dozed off long ago and was now curled up on his side, the toy Jumper in his hand, snoring quietly through his blocked nose.

"I fell asleep?"

Teyla nodded and gave him an affectionate smile, "Rodney….you should get some real sleep."

McKay stretched and yawned, "Guess so…ah my neck!"

"I heard you tell the Colonel that it was Christmas…"

McKay checked Sheppard was still sleeping before answering and guided her away from his bed, "Look……about that…….don't tell him he slept right through Christmas and new years. He'd be……disappointed…..and grouchy."

"He'll figure it out."

"Ah he's doped up on the good drugs….he won't remember this."

"That was very nice of you Rodney."

"Nice? Well……yes…….I did it for all of us really….I mean…he'd be all angry and annoyed and-"

Teyla gave his arm a gentle squeeze, "As I said _Rodney_, that was nice of you."

"Well………" Mckay was feeling embarrassed already. He didn't do affection. "……..he kind of grows on you."

Teyla looked fondly towards Sheppard's bed, "That he does. You look tired."

"I'm off to sleep right this minute," he began to walk off and stopped, twisting on his heel.

What he wanted to say _was "…and the toy Jumper….it was from all three of us. Not just me. Thought you'd like to know. In case he asked_." , but instead he said, "Teyla, uh, next time I suggest going out to an ancient outpost on an ice planet….. Just shoot me."

"Goodnight Rodney."

He said hasty goodnight and retreated to his deliberately overheated room. He didn't have to vocalise everything. Certain facts were obvious.

The End


End file.
